Tonight was dinner and a long digressing conversation with Wei Chong and Miss Yeo at a foodcourt made quaint by enriching talk. There, she told me something that- not to be dramatic- changes a whole series of what I thought made my life the way it was.
I'd always felt guilty heaving in all the good and bad that came with being a higher authority in such a great group at a young age, like it should have been another's deserving plate to hold. All along I'd been giving myself little pats on the back, taking negativity and letdowns in my singing into stride because I believed since day one: I was never outstanding before, my voice was always drowned by stronger, better, and if Mr Toh had not mistaken me for some girl who was unfortunate enough to have a forgettable, similar face like mine, I wouldn't have had all these amazing experiences in my life which I hold so dearly to my heart. Thought, in secondary two: that was the best bout of luck throughout my eighteen years, and how is it possible that Mr Toh, so wise and intuitive, allowed this mistake to churn and grow for the next three years.
But now exposed to the fact that it was not true, that I was as unlucky as I am now, I've never felt more... humbled. Knowing that I was chosen amongst music from a sharp ear, with no regards to my lack of confidence then, I'm comforted for that led to me respecting and recognizing the singer he saw me as from the start, over time.
[emphasis] I think I'm blessed.
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